Because Nothing Is As Sexy As a Consenting Muppet

Which fact I tried heroically to convince Derek Springer of on a recent episode of The Ugly Couchcast . Somehow he didn't seem persuaded. Not even after viewing some of my questionable Muppet erotic art. He wouldn't even LOOK at the hot felted action I tried to send him! Philistine.

Blue Muppets. Not the Grover kind.

Yeah, I went there.

This might be a good time (if there is such a thing) to bring up my longtime crush on the Muppet Newsman. Sure, everyone has a favorite Muppet or three, but a crush? Well...I like to think of myself as Special. In maybe a short-bus kind of way. As in three-feet-tall-with-fuzzy-felt-skin-short. On a bus is optional. The bed would be fine. 

Ahem. SO. I was of course THRILLED to see that Newsie has quite a LOT of screentime in "Muppets Most Wanted," and not just his Muppet Newsflash bits, either! The squeal I let out when I saw him dancing in the waltz scene must've been audible two fandoms away. (Not to worry. The Cumberbitches get the whole sexy-nerd vibe, I hear.) 

But hey, there's far more to love about a new Muppet film than scenes guaranteed to excite a perv like me! There's AMAZING songs, like this one which has become stuck in my head. There are plenty of references to snarky fan demands (Rizzo is, as always, the Voice of the Common Man) and to classic Muppet Show episodes, like the Mirror Kermit sketch (which I'm credibly informed was Jim Henson's homage to Harpo Marx). 

Thank frog, a trailer which DOESN'T 

give away the best bits!

Steve, Eric, Dave, et al did a magnificent job with this one. Bobin and Stoller prove themselves true fans again with a script which honors the original characters and the spirit of the fuzzy, felted folk created by the House of Henson; McKenzie's songs are hilarious; and did I mention the stolid, grumpy, easily flustered Newsman DANCES? 

Oh. And there's some frog-pig snogging, if you're into that.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to locate that yellow felt I stashed away for emergencies. 

Hey Derek? I can hear you shuddering from eight states away.